If you are new to this blog, welcome. This blog is about your innate FABULOUSNESS. We share tips, stories and information I collect that can assist you in living your best life. I hope you visit us often. I will be sharing good stuff often.
The following question was emailed to me through our www.totallyfabulouswoman.com site. I thought I would share it and my response with you. (If you have a question or comment regarding Waking up Fabulous in your own life, please feel free to email me at tina@totallyfabulouswoman.com.
Q: Tina, have you ever been insecure or lacked confidence?
Jennifer
A: Yes Jennifer.
We all experience a lack of confidence sometimes in some area of our lives. Confident successful people like Oprah, Madonna, Colin Powell and even Jesus and Buddha had their insecure moments. Insecurity is some portion of every human experience.
Unfortunately most people feel there is something wrong with them if they feel insecure. People hide their insecurities in shame. This makes talking about the truth difficult. No one wants to admit they have insecurities and sometimes feel like they are not good enough or like they are lacking in some way.
However the truth is your insecurity can be used as a gift. It is the very experience of yourself that can allow you to discover the deeper Truth about yourself.
The way this works is the insecurity feels so uncomfortable that it "pushes" you to find ways to not feel so bad. Healthy strategies for learning the truth include: reading books on spiritual development, reading self-help books, enrolling in workshops that help you get in touch with yourself and help you see and unravel some of the experiences in your life that have left you feeling confused and hurt. Therapy is also a good strategy. If you do any one of these you will gain information that helps you to know you are not alone and you do not have to live with your insecurity forever. Anything you place your attention on will change. If you place your attention on feeling more secure and confident and happy being you, you will come in contact with the kind of information that will help you get there. You have to want it first. You have to be interested in figuring out how to live your best life. Then you have to do things to help you get there.
Most people do nothing. Therefore, their insecurity just gets bigger and begins to eat them up from the inside. A lot of people turn to drugs or other bad habits that distract them from feeling their inner discomfort with themselves. Some people will talk on the phone all the time. Other people will eat. There are many ways people try to side-step their inner discomfort.
My suggestion is that you find a safe place to talk about how you feel. By a safe place I mean someone who understands how life works and can help you learn more about yourself and understand more about life. It is a mistake to think you know or can figure out the answers by yourself. You may be able to but it will take a long time and use up most of your life. Why use this slow method when you can work with people who can mentor you and share wisdom.
I have confronted and struggled with a number of insecurities in my life. I am a successful actress, yet sometimes I have to talk myself through stage fright. I use to think the insecurities said something bad about me. Now I know that everyone deals with feelings of insecurity. Actually insecurity is mostly self-judgment. We must learn to accept ourselves more. This is hard sometimes, but if you put in the effort you will get there. Wise people learn to experience their insecurity without letting it define them or without taking the insecurity personally. I have learned to look at myself when I am feeling insecure and say, "Oh look I am having insecure feelings." When I do this the feelings do not overwhelm me because I am not trying to hide from them. I make sure to remind myself of the difference between me and my insecurities. I am not my insecurities. My insecurities are just feelings. They are feeling trying to point me in a direction of healing and giving myself more self-love. If I give them the time they need and ask myself what I need and take action to learn more about me, the insecurity will turn into a gift and then it will heal and go away.
I hope this helps.
Fabulous me to Fabulous you,
Tina
P.S. I just finished writing my book, Waking up Fabulous: 5 New Strategies for Being the Best YOU Ever. Watch for excerpts.