The Art or HeArt of “Listening” Part III
This is Part III of a six part series. See my two previous blog entries on September 11 and 13 for Parts I & II.
Listening to another is a skill that so few have.
So, what does it mean to “listen” to another? I have found that most us most of time, myself included, are in a place of self-absorption. Therefore, we are not listening. We are so caught up in projecting a certain impression about ourselves or getting our point across or being heard or being “right” that we pay almost no attention to the person right there in front of us.
Listening can not occur when the mind is preoccupied. “Listening” can only occur in the silence and receptivity of the heart. It can only occur when the little self, the ego, the self-absorbed part of us is silent.
What often happens, too, is that we are so full of “hubris” or false pride that we just want to hear ourselves talk and we are not interested in what another has to say. We are not there to listen, we are only there to make another see or hear us. This happens because we have a lack of real Self-confidence, that is, we lack confidence in our Higher Self and lack an understanding of what our Higher Self is and who we really are; and are, instead, trying to build up our little self’s self-confidence, that is, our ego’s delusion of confidence or personal superiority.
By doing this we just keep putting up one barrier of separation after the other. Eventually, it becomes very difficult to bring these walls of separation down in our relationships.
For myself, I really got to understand this when I was about thirty years old. At that time I became the Executive Director of an organization that planned ecumenical, inter-faith conferences all around the world. The people that attended the conferences were academics in religion and philosophy as well as religious leaders from all over the world. Many very fascinating people attended from all walks of life.
Some of the conferences were as large as 1,000 and some of the events were small groups of twelve to twenty attendees. I did this for about seven years and literally went around the world numerous times doing it.
To be continued on 9 20 06