The Art or HeArt of “Listening” Part V
This is Part V of a six part series. See my four previous blog entries on September 11, 13, 18, and 20 for Parts I, II, III, & IV.
I soon began to realize that it was so much more enjoyable being with those who were present and listening. Those who were constantly talking about how great they were or how brilliant their intellectual theories were, got rather boring; and, interestingly, those same people never asked me a question about myself. I did not exist on some level other than as a sounding board.
But it was these “laughing Buddha” types who would not only ask me about me, but they would “listen.” I just felt embraced by them. I felt “one” with them.
Even though it was 1985 when I left this job, still to this day, there are two dozen or so of these “laughing Buddhas” I still communicate with. [By the way, many of these people were Westerners!]
I really learned through all this that it was so important for me to be silent in order to really be listening. It did not matter what the issue was or whether I was in a planning meeting discussing practical things, having dinner, or just hanging out. In order to hear, I had to be still and listen quietly. It was only by doing this that I was able to hear and respond from a place of connection.
It was not that I did not speak up at times, I did; but I learned not to talk a lot in these settings. I chose to listen. I learned to just be present and just witness what was going on. I learned to go beyond words and appearances and sense the “essence” of the interchange.
I listened in the silence and to the silence, not only to my own silence, but also to the silence between their words. And it was there that I got to “know” them. It was there where I got to know who they really were and what they were really saying.
It was from this place where I could make a comment that could move the discussion into an area that was more productive; or I could sense that the interaction was going nowhere and I knew that it was time for me to excuse myself. I was not judging them, but I could sense when their energies did not match mine. I learned not to “lean into” conversations or situations where I did not belong and which did not serve my Highest Good or the Highest Good of all concerned.
To be continued on 9 27 06