Awakening Your Intuitive Knowing, Part VI
This is Part VI of a ten part blog. Part I begins on 10/15/07. In order to better understand what follows, it would be best to read the previous parts.
So, I would like to now share with you why I teach these classes.
In this lifetime, the parenting that I received was such that neither of my parents had the experience of Love or of the Embrace so they were, therefore, incapable of sharing that with me. So as a child, what I basically heard, actually, all I ever heard, was what was wrong with me and what I was not doing right. Even on her deathbed, my mom could not say anything nice to me. That simply was just not possible for her; so bless her, bless her for that!
She wanted to be able to do so, but she couldn’t for whatever reasons; it does not really matter. And it was my choice to be with her and it was a gift. And my dad was not there either, sweet dear soul that he was, because he could not handle her so he was gone emotionally. And I did not have siblings.
And so the profound gift of all this was…and also given the way I was raised, they did not let me go out of their sight much; God forbid I would do something other than what they wanted me to do… I had a very rich interior life. I had no other choice. Either that or go crazy. Which some of you may think is the case. [Laughter.]
The richness of my interior life extended, as well, into my dream life. It is still a problem for me nowadays because I go to sleep and I am so active; it is ridiculous. There is so much going on; I often say to myself, “Give me a break already. Let me just go comatose for a while. Give me a drug. Give me anything.” FYI, I don’t take drugs, never have. But…it is a very active interior life that I have.
So through all this upbringing I was left with really poor self esteem and no real direction or purpose in my life. So, from a very young age I was desperately looking for meaning. My story, I realize, may parallel many of your stories, too. So, please understand that I am not claiming my story to be unique, nor in any way am I asking for sympathy. Nor, other than for teaching purposes, do I identify with it any more.
This is Part VI of a ten part blog.
